Funny dating joke

Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So what did the doctor say?

Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? The world thinnest book has only one word written in it : EVERYTHING. If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.... Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend? Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part." Snake Venom One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick.

A British website two tastefully funny cards which can be personalized with names and anniversary dates as well as an option for selecting the hair color of the folks on the card to match your recipient’s hair color.

The website a page devoted to stupid anniversary gifts including” love rats” (little rats covered in hearts which are so ugly they are cute) a frog that turns into a prince, a love gun that shoots cupids up to 15 feet, and a cuddly Hershey Kiss doll that looks like a Hershey Kiss with a face arms and legs……it all depends on who you are getting the gift for but these might just work.

A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been hailed in a survey as the funniest gag ever.

Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36,000 people voted.

In second place was a legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu'.

Other jokes to make the top 20 include a string of brilliant one-liners - and digs at wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.

The website refer you to a number of humorous card retailer sites and e-card websites where you can purchase amusing anniversary cards.

It shows when someone touches her phone or her boyfriend. They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.. This time, Michelle didn't get home until very late.

Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life...my name, address and telephone number Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Your girlfriend is like a meatlocker every guy wants to store his meat in her Every girl is a ninja... Boyfriend: awww spell it out to make it more romantic. Girlfriend: "Go to hell." Boyfriend: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. I was caught selling ice." Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have common sense, very short figure! Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs." On the third date, the pair returned to the country road.

’ And I was like, ‘No, no, no, no, we’re not opening fire.

Don’t tell me any of the disgusting sh*t I’ve done.’” The “Snatched” star also poked fun at being single, saying, "I’m dating this new dude.

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